


You're What?

by xikra1648



Series: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and...His Wife? [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: And shock, F/M, Mostly humor, No real romance at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xikra1648/pseuds/xikra1648
Summary: Dismantling the drug cartel Mr. Hudson ran was a bit more difficult than anyone but Sherlock, Mrs. Hudson, and yourself knew.  It spanned from America, mostly Florida, to England and as they were getting in the way of your own business you took it upon yourself to help dismantle the cartel.  Sherlock never really admitted to needing help, but free passage to America and a reliable partner that could charm her way into Fort Knox (you had done it before) could come in handy.  It was a business proposition, at most, an extra step to solving a case in reality.Though, in hindsight, he probably should have mentioned to John that there was a Mrs. Holmes out there, and there was a chance she would stop by.





	You're What?

**Author's Note:**

> What have I done? Why do I do these things? I have about a million other things I should be doing and yet I do this.
> 
> I'm sorry.

# The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes...and His Wife?

### You're What?

It was a simple enough deal.  You were a clever little con artist, easily the best thief in the world, but there were times you would put your skills to use to _fight_ crime instead of committing it.  Stealing from the rich was one thing, but running a cartel was entirely different.  It was an ornate and complex plan, it would take time and multiple trips back and forth from America to England.  You’d need some form of citizenship to England and he’d need a green card.

It was only one of your identities, and it was a logical enough solution considering neither of you had time to actually seek citizenship.

After spending a few hundred dollars and conning a judge, the papers were signed and the two of you could travel back and forth as you pleased.  After the case was over you doubted you would cross paths again, besides the occasional phone call for a favor, neither of you spoke much, and certainly never bothered with officially breaking off the marriage.  It wasn’t really worth his time, he’d deal with it if he had to, and you figured being in different countries was close enough, it was only _one_ of your identities anyway…even if it was your _actual_ identity.

A few years later you found yourself in London, likely the only safe place for you now that Moriarty was on your tail, and easily found yourself at 221B Baker Street.  You were really just planning on stopping by, letting him know you were in the area so he wouldn’t find out on his own, and had the pleasure of meeting his flatmate.  The poor man thought you were a client, letting you in and pulling out a chair for you to sit in.  You did, waiting for Sherlock, until the fair-haired man admitted the detective was out.

“Oh, it could be ages until he gets back, I’ll just leave my new number and he can call when he’s free,” you sighed as you finished your tea and got up after scribbled down your name and number on a scrap of paper, “Thanks for the tea.”

“I can’t guarantee he’ll call…” John replied, knowing that it was more likely that Sherlock would toss the number without a second thought.

“I can guarantee he will,” you smiled, laughing a bit as you left your note on the kitchen table, right next to Sherlock’s computer.

“But-“

“His wife’s in town, the least he can do is call,” you replied as you left, leaving the doctor frozen in shock.  Even as you stopped by to say hello to Mrs. Hudson, having grown fond of the woman as you helped the detective put her husband on death row, John was in a frozen stupor that didn’t end until long after you left the flat altogether.  John was still rolling it around in his mind as he sat in his chair and stared at the paper in a poor attempt to read it until Sherlock came back, late, from _wherever_ the hell he was.

“Your _wife_ stopped by,” John said, immediately and sounding terse, even though he was more amused and confused than angry.

“Hm, that’s odd, I can’t imagine what there would be here that would catch her attention,” Sherlock replied as he tried to think of anything that you would want to procure for your own desires, “Did she say anything?”

“No, she just left her number and _told me she’s your wife.”_

“Yes, you said that much.  This might be about Lord-“

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that you’re _married_?” John gaped at his best friend.  Sure, Sherlock was odd, but he certainly wouldn’t just _skip_ over such a crucial fact.  _Nobody_ would…then again you treated it like there was absolutely nothing was odd or even special about it.

“We needed to travel freely between America and England, a marriage was the simplest way for both of us to receive the freedom to do so,” Sherlock explained before he added, “It was her idea, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, but a clever idea nonetheless.”

“So it was just _convenient?_   Why not get a divorce?”

“Never bothered, and she had at least 12 different identities at the time.”

Twelve different…

Of course, Sherlock couldn’t be _conveniently_ married to a _normal_ woman for an American green card.  It just _had_ to be someone as _crazy_ as he was.


End file.
